Anyone who has worked with engaged couples knows that generally they are dwelling in the land of Grimm’s fairy tales and firmly believe that nothing will ever go wrong in their relationship. Unfortunately reality sets in and problems arise. A man and woman today could have a union lasting more than fifty years and both of them could develop into very different people during time. Nowadays, the basis for marriage, at least in western society, is usually love. In the past, particularly among the wealthy and noble, marriage was mainly to do with property or - in the case of royalty - to seal treaties between states.
The church made marriage a sacrament but for a long time virginity was upheld as being the higher calling. Yet Jesus in today’s reading stressed the importance of the union of man and woman, stressing that it was a personal relationship, where God joined the two people. The pharisees, who were hoping to trap Jesus by quoting Moses, saw marriage in legalistic terms. It benefited the man rather than the woman, who could be divorced simply by a writ of dismissal.
Jesus in speaking out so clearly was risking his life. Divorce was prevalent in both Roman and Jewish society and John the Baptist had been executed when he told Herod that he could not marry Herodias, his brother’s wife. Marriage was used as a symbol of the relationship between Christ and his church by St Paul in Ephesians 5:25-26, and also in the Apocalypse where the visionary describes the New Jerusalem (the church) as a bride (Apoc.21:2). Love between husband and wife is obviously a very powerful image.
Today we see so many examples of couples living together in a love that has matured with time. It is important however to have compassion for those whose unions fail and who suffer misery.