Often the words of Jesus seem puzzling. He himself lived in a family for thirty years, which was his main education in life and where he loved and was loved. Is he telling us to abandon our families? To disobey the Fourth Commandment? Families are the basic units of society; however, Jesus was to point out many times that we need to be concerned about people who are not our own flesh and blood. Putting Jesus first means we get our values right because he points us in the right direction. We do not cease loving our relations but we reach out beyond mere tribal concerns.
The cross was adopted by the Romans as a very cruel method of execution for those who were not citizens. Living a Christian life means accepting the consequences of following the Lord. Suffering is not good in itself; Jesus spent his entire public ministry relieving it. However, preaching his message of love upset the Jewish establishment so that it had to get rid of him, and he died willingly for us. St Maximilian Kolbe was arrested by the Nazis for harbouring Jews. He gave his life in exchange for a fellow prisoner who had a wife and family.
Most of us are not asked to perform such feats of heroism. St Terese of Lisieux was restricted in what she could do in a Carmelite convent. She decided to perform little acts of self-sacrifice and kindness, such as putting up gracefully with annoyances of community life and befriending a fellow nun whom she found very unattractive. When she was dying she had a vision of Mother Ana de Jesus, a friend of Teresa of Avila and John of the Cross, who reassured her that what she did was enough. Jesus told us that even giving a cup of water in his name will be rewarded. In our lifetime we have the possibility of giving many cups of water!